my birthday 4/1/2010

so happy birthday to me :) originally i thought i would be in labor today it was mikah's original due date. but she came 2 weeks early, and I'm good with that, I'm having a smallish get together tonight at my house, once i realized that all my friends who could come had kids, i figured just have them all come lol so for my 22 b-day I've set up my TV to watch possibly the princess and the frog and we'll have cake and ice cream and snicker salad and chips and salsa, should be good, mikah's coming with her parents for a bit :) that's what i wanted was to see her. so I'm happy ,

in being happy with the whole arrangement people, (myself included) was starting to worry i wasn't grieving for the loss of not having my daughter, i talked to my counselor told her that mikahs biological father didn't know she had been born yet, and so for the next week i would be worried he would call or show up and want to see her at least, and that the prospect of seeing him again scared the hell out of me. and if i did see him, i would probably beat his face in, she reassured me that it was worst case scenario that he would show up and not to worry but instead of grieving sadly for the loss of mikah that instead i was furious and saddened by the thought of her father. and that it was normal. I'm glad its directed at him and not her or her amazing parents.