Gambit

so i got gambit on christmas eve day in logan and brought him home hes been such a love to me and a great best friend (mans best) well when I moved back home I was told it wasnt an option to keep him so I looked and looked for a good home for him and when we went to california I didnt have anywhere tokeep him so I left him in Idaho for about a month till I could find a permanent place for him, well my dad sawmy opened email on his computer and went thru it only to find that I was lonely, Very lonely and talked to my mom and siad okay I get it she doesnt have anyone I wish she knew she had me but I get that she loves gambit and she can have him back if shes still looking for a better place for him

so I get him back I am so excited and andrea and I leave tomorrow for idaho to go to the fair see family and pick up gambit heres a pic of both of us

after

since that first day I've told my parents who took it alot better then i thoght they would, moved back home which has worked out alot better then I thought it would and am trying to develope a better relationship with everyone, i'm getting help with the bishop Lds family services and my very suportive friends, i've come to grips with life and finaly feel like i'm not in a nightmare anymore and am actually getting excited about the baby I have my next Dr. apt on the 15th I get to hear the heart beat, i've already made mom take work off and I think dad might come too. this is going to be a good thing if I keep the child or find a good place for her, lol or him not that I know but I have a feeling so far its going to be a little girl, i'm starting to think about names,

finding out...

so the day I found out I was pregnant went a bit like this

I was 4 days late (approximatly) so I decided to just quit stressing and just get a pregnancy test just to find out it was a no so I would stop freaking out after all I had broke up with Trav 2 weeks before. went to work was the only one there from about 9 till 2 so finaly when someone else showed up at 2 I went and took the test and after about 30 seconds the double pink line showed up, I started to freak and didnt know what to do? who to talk to? or how to handle this?
I decided I was going to take my lunch and just leave for a min and well idk just leave. I walked out and there was someone waiting to get their hair cut, well being the professional I am i didnt have a choice so I cut his hair in about 6 min flat almost forgot to have him pay and LEFT.

once I was outside I wanted to scream or get a hug or SOMETHING i didnt want to be alone cause thats all I felt I was, ALONE i called my best friend Sarah who was in Georgia, she didnt answer i just left a message that said "its positive, i'm freaking, HELP" she mananged to text back with the number for the midwives clinic in Orem just to get it confirmed

I managed to leave work at 4 instead of 5:30 like I should have just to go over there wait for half hour just to have them say Congrats your approximate due date it April 1st 2010 i laughed told them that that was my birthday and said thank you left, called sarah and just started to cry again

i was starting to think it was the longest day of my life, called another friend and met up with her, shes travs neighbor, went to her house to have a girls night just to ignore things for the night and to deal with them later, well Trav got home that night I figured why put it off and told him that night

it went a little like this

Me- "Hey trav do you think theres anyway you and I could get back together?"
Trav-NOPE
Me- well okay then heres the news, i'm pregnant
Trav-ok
Me-ok ok is all you can say i'm freaking out and all you say is ok?
Trav- well ya if your freaking out so bad you can always just get rid of it
Me-ya thats not an option for me, is that seriously all your thinking?
Trav-well Emily a kid is a good thing weather your still with the person or not and hey this is a chance for me to help raise a kid of my own
Me-ok then
Trav- sorry is that all cause i'm trying to pack back up to go back to work tonight
Me-nope have fun ttyl
Trav- well just keep my updated
Me-sure

and I left, more mad then I was before, and completly confused

he didnt go back to work that night, I think he was freaking out too. he just didnt want to portray that to me.

blogging?

so my sister has a blog my cousins have blogs and I can know whats going on in their lives with the click of a button and decided I should kinda publically journalize whats going on with me, the pregnancy and how I feel about it all... so here it is, this is me blunt and honest...theres no reason to sugar coat what i'm going thru or how I feel about it so I hope you can handle it.