i cant find it

I don't want to be upset but I don't know what to do right now?.... i got to thinking and I was friends with my kids parents for a LONG freaking time when I placed with them thought that it would bring us all closer, yes I understand they have a new baby to take care of Yes I know I don't mean t0 interfere but I placed my baby so now don't have her in my life so much especially compared to the 24 hour contact I had for 8 and a half months and I lost half my friends which was fine cause I realized who was a friend and who was a fake but I feel like I've now lost Brad and Karly, ya I see them occasionally but I'm not friends like I was before I guess I just didn't know what would happen so I assumed something else would be and I was wrong, I don't get it?... i did everything for them kept them in contact throughout everything i was doing every day and they don't even send me the occasional hey whats going on message anymore...i don't get it and I HATE IT... i don't know what to do? I dont even know who to talk to anymore? i'm more alone then I have ever been and I keep things will look up and shit keeps happening to prove me wrong, i'm just waiting for something to look up or a window to open and I cant find it?