Right NOW

Mikah is almost 3 months and i wish someone would have told me that its normal, to have another hard time around then....ya no one did and I have been hating life, like the drug addict, just needing a fix, and going crazy because I've done so well for so long, but my grandma died and I had a hard time with that i just don't know where my life is going and I don't know what i want or what to expect anymore?.... i went to a country concert with a bunch of different band and heard a new one and got to talk to her, h name is Heather Morgan and she is so amazing, singer songwriter and she wrote a song named happy its mostly about not wanting some guy anymore and about just wanting to be happy and that's what I want ! i just want to be happy! how do i achieve that? I've tried the church thing and idk if its what i want but I've tried the bad thing and I dont Want that anymore, SO ALL I KNOW IS I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY, RIGHT NOW!