I've been randomly going out with an old ex boyfriend lately and again tonight and well lets just be honest I'm probably a bit more then slightly still in love with him. or maybe (hopefully) its just the memory of him. but really he's one of the few people or things i can do, that doesn't make me think of Mikah, but hes also not good for me because I know i need more but I don't think I deserve anything else, well anyone else that is, and its sad and i hate it and it makes my heart hurt because i like hanging out with him but i don't want to be or even think I'm in love with him or even slightly kinda in love with him even if it is just for the distractions...
on a side note mikah is doing great. which always makes me happy, not that I've seen her or really heard but i guess i figure no news is good news so ya...
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